Football analysis by Mark Payne
Mark Payne is a journalist currently living in Sydney, Australia. He is a weekly correspondent for ESPN's online service and a contributor to a host of business, travel and lifestyle publications.
All United fans are to perform the following procedure. Place both hands over your ears, clasp your fingers together at the top of your cranium and gently but firmly lift your head out of the sand. The heavy reportage of United’s financial quagmire this week has been gut wrenching. Perhaps the worst thing is that little [click to read more]
.On the 3rd of January 1777 American general George Washington defeated the British general Charles Cornwallis at the Battle of Princeton. The Americans are still going on about this. On the 3rd of January 2010 Leeds beat Manchester United in FA Cup at Old Trafford. You fill in the blank. Frankly, at this stage, I am [click to read more]
This injured defender situation is getting ridiculous. At the moment, our treatment room must resemble the beach landing in Normandy – players arms flailing around and field medics frantically trying to issue the right medication to each of them. This ain’t great because on Tuesday we face Germans and a tremendous chance to lose [click to read more]
It’s nice to be back in the Premier League this weekend and back to the business at hand as opposed to all this business about a handball. FIFA’s influence on the week’s events has muddied their fair play policy in all the wrong ways, some games are fairer than others, eh Sepp? But FIFA’s true [click to read more]
Like a particularly plump man who was invited to dinner by Hannibal Lector, I had feared the worst about this fixture. Looking at recent form a massacre wouldn’t have been entirely unexpected. But I had a feeling that if we actually had a go and went for it we had a chance. So it proved [click to read more]
There have been a lot of grumbles about Real Madrid from our side over the last couple of years. The protracted Ronaldo transfer and the manner in which it was conducted has put an awful lot of people’s backs up. Madrid are now seen as lacking class and respect to the red side from Mancunia. But [click to read more]
Regular readers of this column will know all about the Crinkleys. They are a group of curmudgeonly old United fans made up of my Dad and his school mates who I often attend home matches with. One of their catchphrases, no doubt chiselled from decades of watching the team, is “they make us sufferâ€Â. My [click to read more]
Ayers Rock, Mount Everest, Greenland, Sam Allardyce. Blackburn’s manager is not a small fella. I am reliably informed that in order to stay upright he is required to use one of those anti-gravity belts beloved of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune. But enough about this Jupiter of a man (Big Sam has my total respect by [click to read more]
I have a lot of affection for the eighties. John Hughes was making quality movies such as this, knee socks were in fashion and United didn’t lose to Liverpool. The days of Whiteside nobbling Steve McMahon and wee Gordie Strachan’s cigar celebration are a distant memory on the horizon. We are missing Fletcher at the moment. [click to read more]
It was interesting to see the club still advertising ‘tickets available’ in the run up to a home game against local opposition. It has taken a while, but the Glazers may be starting to pay for the continual, cynical raising of ticket prices. Cancel the ambulance, my heart is not bleeding. I see this lack of [click to read more]