The Devil In Me

A “source” claims the report, says that two “mystery bidders” have offered £1bn+ for United this week but were turned down by the Glazer family. What a convincing story! How brimming with factual evidence it is. Perhaps the more cynical among us would say this is misinformation, a lame attempt at discouraging the Red Knight campaign. Surely our impeachable owners would not stoop to such a tactic. This can be nothing more than quality news reporting at its best.

There is a disclaimer on this page that states “While these reports are filled with correspondent’s insight and expertise, they are based on the correspondent’s point of view and may contain speculation as well as fact.” In light of that, here is my speculative opinion: Today’s report that the Glazer’s have recently turned down two £1bn+ bids for United from mystery people is more dubious than a £12.50 coin.

Balls(c)Andresmarx @FlickrCcoms
Why do I draw this conclusion? For the following reasons: Firstly, all we have heard this week is that the Glazers will not sell, they are in it for the long haul, etc. etc. Secondly, while this is a vague reiteration of what has been said before it is really being hammered home. Thirdly, as of this morning, MUST’s membership figures are tickling 110,000 – not bad considering the target was 100,000 by the end of the season. In conclusion, we, the fans, are getting organized and they know it.

In 1984 George Orwell wrote, “If there is hope, it lies with the proles”. As the masses, we are the ‘proles’ and this latest campaign of misinformation on their part is highly reminiscent of that novel.

This is not the time for us to either give in or become distracted by the press releases from Old Trafford. This is our club and we will get it back as long as we remain steadfast in our ambitions.

I reiterate the importance of all fans taking up the opportunity of free MUST membership, so that we can all be communicated to with one voice. I would also implore people to not renew their season tickets or purchase tickets for match days from on in. Most blokes will tell you that a kick on the pocket makes you think twice, that is where we need to aim our shoes.

If I was in a scuba suit surrounded by great white sharks , giant squid and other beasties from the deep then I might forget the ocean is rather a magnificent sight when viewed from the surface. Pitchside this week ‘maginificent’ is the only word left to describe Wayne Rooney.

Vidic and Agbonlahor practice their ice-skating routine in honour of the Winter Olympics(c)Getty
Having watched his header to win the League Cup Final a dozen or more times I am still aghast at how much skill it takes to do that. Equally stunning is how little time it has taken for the team to forge a successful new style of play after the departure of Ronaldo.

By turning the tactics book back a few pages United have struck up on a simple winner. Good, pacy wingers running at defenders and putting in good crosses. This has been ‘the United way’ since time immemorial and it is great to see it back. Whether we prove strong enough to pick up more trophies this season is open to debate. It was interesting that none of the players, not even the Manc raised personnel, felt the need to pick up a green and gold scarf on their way up the steps. I’ll bet they were under instruction and this is exactly the point.

The one hope I have for the future is that one day, I will be watching the team again and only be concerned about what happens on the pitch. Right now, I am all too aware of what lies beneath.

Patrics Evra lifts the Carling Cup. The young Michael Jackson stands next to him looking miffed(c)Getty

Photography from Getty Images and Andresmarx @FlickrCcoms.

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Aston Villa pitch themselves as the Ghandi of the Premier League. Randy Lerner is said to be a ‘good, considerate’ owner (although I know nothing about him) and Martin O’Neill is the media darling’s media darling. “He has a law degree don’t you know, how very nouveau football.” And of course they nurture young English players like saplings in a storm – good-hearted folk that they are. This overlooks the fact that we still, and will always, owe them one in a cup final.

Martin O’Neill

FA Cup Final 1957

The 1956-57 season was, in Manchester United terms, rather significant. This was the year we became the first English club to compete in the European Cup. It also saw the Busby babes record a glorious championship victory, finishing ahead of Tottenham Hotspur. It should also have been the year we won the double. That it was not, we can solely blame on Peter McParland.

Odds on favourites for the final, United met Villa and for six minutes things were going according to plan. Then McParland poleaxed our goalie, Ray Wood, breaking his cheekbone. In the age before substitutes our young team had to trudge on for the rest of the match with ten men, other than when a dreaming Wood was let back onto the field to wander around.

To literally add insult to injury McParland scored both Villa goals and they ran out 2-1 winners. At the opening of the new Wembley the FA paraded a gallery of FA Cup legends before kick-off as United prepared to play Chelsea. McParland, first out, was roundly booed by the red end. No, we don’t forgive you.

League Cup Semi-Final 1970-71

The game that got Wilf McGuinness the chop. United warmed up for the match by losing a league match 4-1 to City the previous week. Villa were enjoying the hospitality of Division 3 at the time and a team containing Nobby, Georgie, Bobby Charlton and Kiddo managed to draw 1-1 at OT.

A week later we lost 2-1 at Villa Park. The team was Rimmer, Fitzpatrick, Dunne, Crerand, Ure, Sadler, Morgan, Best, Charlton, Law, Kidd. Average age 77. It was about then Wilf McGuinness got the chop and Sir Matt came back for half a season.

No wonder Wilf’s hair fell out.

1993 League Cup Final

My first visit to Wembley and the reason why my dad won’t let me go back. Until this point no Payne had seen United lose a cup final at Wembley and, after a careful elimination of factors, it was decided I was the unlucky charm. Lovely.

On for the first domestic treble in history United were caught cold by the performance of Dean Saunders career and Big Ron’s desire to remind everybody who he was. The game was pretty even until Kanchelskis handled on the line and gifted Villa a penalty. I went home and wept onto my Bryan Robson duvet cover. The therapy cost a fortune.

FA Cup 3rd Round 2002

Ruud Van Nistlerooy
This game is memorable for witnessing Ruud Van Nistlerooy at the absolute peak of his powers. United were on the brink of going out in the third round for the first time since stegosaurus roamed the earth. Up steps the long faced Dutchman with two deadly strikes in the second half to send United through and leave Villa Park in the doldrums.

Ruud would finish the season with a whopping 44 goals and a reputation as the most feared striker in the world. We were saved the ignominy of going out in the 3rd round until, well, last month.

Moving on.

United’s last 3rd round exit before this season

Prediction for today’s game:

I suspect there may be goals in them there hills. Both teams have suspect defences and pacy players up front. I could see it going 3-2 either way.

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Photography from lcrf@flckrCcoms

History is littered with examples of people making matters worse by being involved in something they don’t really understand. Nobody regards America’s involvement in Vietnam as a triumph, Madonna should never have acted and this week Gary Cook gave us this little beauty. His humungous stupidity acting as the perfect aphrodisiac for all victory celebrations far, wide and right in your face.

Staying with the historical theme, City have not always been the nemesis incarnate. The early histories of the clubs tell a tale of mutual cooperation and we will always owe them for letting us play at Maine Road after our ground was bombed to bits. However, beating them this week was more satisfying than a wedding night with Marilyn Monroe. Not that I’ve had that experience but you get the general idea.

The real enemy appear to be the FA who have begun to indulge in their favourite hobby again. The one where they make a ridiculous scapegoat out of Rio Ferdinand. I heard that a United player failed to turn up for Church last Sunday, no doubt that is sufficient for a medium-sized ban eh Soho Square. Plonkers.

Credit where it is due though. This is certainly the best City side I have seen in decades, if at all. The game at Eastlands will be handful and whilst the guy is never going to win a Nobell Peace Prize – Craig Bellamy is a hell of a player.

With regards to the Budweiser incident, I am deeply disappointed some of our fans were chucking stuff at him. The morons trying their pitching arms at Old Trafford let us all down, the Welshman could have made more of a meal of it if he’d wanted to. When Van Der Sar ran over to act as a human shield it reminded me of exactly what we miss without him. A calm head in heated circumstances and the nous to do the right thing when the pressure is on. Also the team’s biggest nose.

The second half at Old Trafford was the best United have played for months and I am tempted to think that we can kick on from here and start galloping towards trophies. Fortunately, our blue-nosed friends have taught me a thing or two about the dangers of hubris this week. We ain’t won nothin’ yet regardless of how satisfying the result is.

Rooney is getting more coverage than the fall of the Berlin Wall and rightly so, he is unplayable at the moment. Of much more heartening news is that Fergie has figured out that playing the right-footed Nani on the right wing produces alright-on-the-night performances. The young Portuguese did start the season promisingly and if he can maintain this form there is a chance he will blossom into the player he should. But nonetheless, heroes, every one of them, bring on Villa.

The primary reasons not to be hubristic are called Arsenal and Chelsea, the latter being our opponents this weekend. We have done some damage to the Gunners in cup victories in the last two years but the sands have shifted over the last 12 months. This should be an altogether more even affair.

You would expect a game including Wayne Rooney, Cesc Fabregas and two weakened defences to produce goals. Beyond that I am relying on my lucky socks again. There is a nasty chance that Ancellotti could finish the weekend as the happiest manager, which can’t be good for the soul of mankind.

As always though. I live in hope. Allez les rouges.

Footnote: Does the signing of Chris Smalling mean that Fergie has resigned himself to losing Vidic at the end of the season? Bet that’ll help the Glazer’s bank balance.

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City must have been delighted to draw United in the Carling Cup semi-final as it means the council house will have a capacity crowd twice this season. This may be a strange set of circumstances for them to deal with, but getting into an almighty tizz over Gary Neville’s middle finger is a bit silly.

I suspect people are focusing on G.Nev’s protrusion so much because they don’t want to zoom in on the reality of the game. United were the better side and City’s goals were both scored by the referee. All of Fergie’s crying wolf may be working against us but there were 5 minutes of injury time in this game and that seems pretty standard for us since he started whingeing. Job done? Evil plan coming to fruition Mr. Ferguson? Perhaps, I wouldn’t like to speculate.

Gary Neville
To be honest, I expected us to get a kicking in this fixture, but we are still very much in the tie and I take great heart from the way the team played. We need to have a sharper cut up front (Rooney can’t do it all on his own) but if we put a few past Hull at the weekend confidence could bloom in the ranks. We’ll also go top if this happens.

I have always had time for Tevez, he worked damn hard for us and reading about his career is fascinating. He won player of the year when he was in Brazil, which for an Argentinean is a bit of a miracle.

But there is no way he is anywhere near as good as he thinks he is. He could do far worse than to take lessons in dignity from Denis Law. And Beckham’s timing for this interview could not have been better.

“City will never be bigger than United. Being successful and one of the most recognised clubs in the world doesn’t come from the money. It’s about history.” Thanks Dave, couldn’t have put it myself and you will get a warm reception from me at Old Trafford in March.

Off the pitch, the financial cobblers still grates me. I can understand the desperate calls for Fergie to resign this week but it’s not the way. In reality, we have pretty much no power over this situation and there are those who think Fergie is the last person with chips to play. Maybe so, but the wizard quitting wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to ‘them’.

The Glazers are treating United as a toy. Fair enough, if I owned a café or a pub I’d shout myself the odd coffee and have a share of the profits. But football clubs are community institutions built up by local support and their exploitation is a morally bankrupt practice. I feel like a disgruntled punter, leaning against the counter complaining about the rising cost of drinks.

We definitely need to get rid of them but waiting for somebody richer to come in does not seem like the best hope either. What I would like to do to the Glazers is unprintable, I can only hope they get lost before United start to resemble the Tampa Bay Buccaneers current diabolical state.

Club Man

One of the more surprising statistics you can read about United is that John O’Shea is now one of the top twenty performers for the club in terms of games played. He has always been a solid club man and played wherever he has been asked to. This week it emerged he has a blood clot and nearly had his leg amputated. That is scary stuff. He has my best wishes and I hope he gets well soon.

Footnote: One of my mates, The Russian Red Lipstick Crusader, is married to a City fan. Pray for her.

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