Archive for January, 2011

Bingo

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

It is lovely to be able to write the words “late Manchester United comeback”. Even better when I can attach them to the words “five points clear” and “season defining victory.” This was a hefty win and no mistake.

A tough result against the biggest ‘Pool’ in the division, such a shame Sky’s big two couldn’t report on it for us. I have a few suggestions for them over the coming weeks

Potential New Careers for Andy Gray and Richard Keys:

Somebody better go down to Skysports and explain the 21st Century to them…

Richard: Bingo Announcer
The question really is whether or not he has actually been doing anything else all these years, it certainly suits his talent level. “Number 45 Richard. Number P45 please.”

Andy: Michael Jackson Impersonator
That crotch-grab in Andy Gray’s youtube video was highly reminiscent on the king of pop himself. Perhaps it is unfair of me to associate Michael Jackson with a sexual pervert though. I apologise to fans.

Andy: Rab C Nesbitt
There is a raft of retro television on our screens now including Hawaii 5-0 and a redux Doctor Who. BBC producers might be put off by the fact Gray is likely to be less articulate than the original.

Richard: Dart Board
A bit wistful this one, but I have never been a great darts player and have been known to often hit the outer edges of the circle. This needs testing of course, but I reckon if the board featured Richard Keys’ face then many of us would hit dead centre every time. Perhaps even go through the wall.

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Berba, Bebe and Qatar

Monday, January 24th, 2011

For the time being at least, we must assume that Alex Ferguson is safe from the sack. The club’s ownership could not be any more satisfied with the job he is doing at the moment, not least because of his sense of timing. This victory should gloss nicely over the worrying, phantom bid from Qatar and the Guardian’s recent investigation of Bebe’s transfer.

It is nearly 20 years since Giggsie made his debut in a team containing Mal Donaghy, Clayton Blackmore and Danny Wallace. The ground held only 45,000 that day and we were beaten two nil. It boggles the mind that he can still run around that pitch making a difference when it all began not long after the club was nearly sold for £7million.

Thirty million pound man Dimitar Berbatov is starting to look like he was worth the money. There were many around who said our team was finished without Rooney firing on all cylinders. I am delighted for the Bulgar in being the one to prove them wrong. He is nearly up to Alan Shearer’s Premier League record for hat-tricks and it would be nice to take it off him.

In the same way I would like something of prestige taken from Shearer, pretty much every football fan in the country right now wants to be cheering a victory over Manchester United. The upcoming fixture list looks very rocky indeed.

Although I nearly died laughing when City lost to Villa, schadenfreude only works if you are not imminently walloped in the face by the same fish. The Villans are in town for us next weekend and it could be a decent gauge of how we’re going if we beat them.

We still have all of our tough away fixtures to come so they’ll be no celebrating at our house just yet. It must be mentioned though, that my Old Man is reciting verses of “I told you so” as he always predicted Berbatov would come good. After following the team for sixty odd years, he is entitled to the odd good call. Personally I am rather worried about who is in charge in the boardroom. Right now, and in the near future.

In a week when some of the more disturbing manoeuvres of United’s pencil-pushers are featured heavily in the news, the team on the field gets a marquee result and marches on at the top of the table. Even if it can’t be seen from pitch-side, something is surely rotten in the Kingdom of Old Trafford. Mind you, if Berbatov keeps playing this well, maybe even I’ll be happy.

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Before a Fall..?

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

The 1988-89 season I remember being a particularly chastening one as a fan. We’d finished strongly in the previous campaign and, after a terrific 3-1 over Liverpool and advancement to the 6th round of the FA Cup, there was talk of a United league and cup double for a while. We had never won one at the time and it was a big deal with genuine excitement attached to it. In fairness, it was only the truly optimistic who thought we could do it, but considering I was ten years old at the time I was one of those optimists.

Then Brian Clough’s Nottingham Forest dumped is limply out of the cup and the goals started to come slowly in the league. The season finished with a bit of a whimper. Mark Hughes’ volleys were the best thing about us at that time. A couple of years ago a similarly cheery thought ran through fans’ minds when it looked like we would win the ‘Quintuple’.

At the moment, and especially after we have been dubbed ‘the Crap Invincibles’, there are those who believe United can finish the league season unbeaten. This is extremely unlikely to happen and we are going to lose a game at some point. The mighty Lawro has predicted that we will come a cropper against Spurs this weekend and he may be right.

It is, of course, against the grain to agree with the one-eyed, moronic Anfield veteran, but I do feel it is wise to brace ourselves for the reality of defeat sooner rather than later. The key to those moments, when they come, is to bounce back as quickly as possible.

It has all been peaches and cream of late but it is doubtful that a team managed by Fergie will be psychologically broken by a solitary loss. There is every chance that the club will still win that all-important 19th title, but a few decades of watching Manchester United teaches me that it is unlikely to be an uneventful canter to the finishing line.

The match against Spurs will be defined by three key battles on the pitch. The first of which is Gareth Bale against Rafael. The young Brazilian contained him brilliantly earlier in the year and if he can repeat that we’ll be fine.

The other contests I am very unsure about. Whether Rooney and Berbatov can provide the finesse up front to score us a winner is far from a forgone conclusion. Rooney is well over due a performance, let’s hope it is this weekend.

At the other end of the pitch much rests on the abilities of Rio and Vidic to contain Mr. Van der Vaart. Quite apart from it being very painful to watch a brilliant player who we should have signed playing for the opposition, the fella can play a bit too.

After the stunningly poor performances of our title rivals the league championship is now in our hands. Let’s hope it is still there in a few weeks time.

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The Liverpool Comedy Club

Friday, January 7th, 2011

Roy Hodgson is not a dazzlingly charismatic man. The men who employed Rafa Benitez will tell you that charm is not a prerequisite for Liverpool managers. But charisma is a quality that can bridge the gap between manager and fan when the fans are unsure of your abilities. Unfortunately for Woy, that gap is widening at Anfield into a perilous chasm. Will United be the ones who push him into it?

Hodgson is a manager of impressive pedigree across the leagues of Europe who has a proven track record of getting the best out of his teams by playing to his personnel’s strengths. The fans in Liverpool are apoplectic because he isn’t delivering the football their sense of entitlement requires. The situation reminds me of another from recent years, the one of Bobby Robson at Newcastle.

There, a good guy manager was undone by a twitchy board at the behest of an unhappy and wholly ungrateful fanbase. Who are mad. Sound familiar? For the proposed idea of bringing back Kenny Dalglish have a look at how well it worked to give Keegan the keys to St. James’ again.

The similarities don’t stop there. Steven Gerrard, the England captain, is now clearly a player living on past glories and foetally nuzzling his home town because he can’t hack it anywhere else. He is probably good friends with Alan Shearer.

Newcastle’s support is legendary across the land, with an enormous stadium that is always packed to the rafters. This is, of course, merely legend – have a look through their attendance figures for the past five years and you will see that the great Geordie stadium is rarely full. There were 9,000 empty seats at Anfield this week.

The overwhelming evidence points the Liverpool’s fans whingeing about things not being good enough without considering that things have the potential to get much, much worse. Supporting the manager and the team would be a sensible approach to following your club. They are doing the opposite.

Could Liverpool be relegated a la Newcastle in the next three years? I certainly wouldn’t rule it out. Personally though, I’m more concerned about Sunday. My suspicion is that Ferguson will rest Vidic, which would give the Scousers much more of a chance than they should have. Then again, we could murder them.

Like the subject of their relegation, I have no idea which is likely to happen. However, whilst it is make or bwake for Roy, I know which result I’d prefer.
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Youth

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

Picture the scene, a club playing free-flowing football with young players being integrated into the side tops the league. The club have fallen below their normal standards of late and are climbing back up. Their manager is taking a lot of stick from the press about his philosophies but he is sticking to his guns and putting his faith in youth. If the club were Arsenal, the plaudits would be raining down from Kingdom Come, as it is Manchester United people just say we are playing badly and that we’re getting all the luck. Rubbish.

Nani is having a terrific season. He has always been Ronaldo in his head, in his head, but last night’s goal, and indeed many of his performances lately, have been almost as impressive as some of the departed player’s efforts.

Hernandez now has 9 goals from 12 starts for United. Those are the kind of statistics that make people say ‘Van Nistelrooy’ and when you look at his natural instinct for goal, not to mention the positions he consistently finds himself in, it appears the Dutchman’s heir has arrived. Personally, I wouldn’t be picking Rooney for the Liverpool game.

It has been an unbelievably gruelling winter program and we fielded the following players to get through it; Gibson, Hernandez, Smalling, Rafael, Anderson, Nani, Obertan and Johnny Evans. That’s a lot of youth and a lot of integrating of new players at a key time of the season.

It is perhaps because of Sir Alex’s rather prickly relationship with anybody holding a tape recorder that such reality is not reported fairly. In general, I agree that we haven’t swatted aside the so-called ‘lesser teams’ this season with gladiatorial ease. In fact, nobody has, the difference is that United have won games playing decent footy and scoring lovely goals.

When such cuisine is served up how on earth can you complain? Many viewers of the game remind me of a spoilt child who complains about his Christmas presents not being extravagant enough, oblivious to the fact there are millions who get none at all.

Whilst the plaudits may go elsewhere, I’ll be happy watching the side do what they do. Having been to OT several times over Christmas period I will, alas, be missing the cup tie against the Scousers due to another commitment. I’ll be relying on the rest of you to cheer them on for me.

Allez les Rouges.

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