The Devil In Me

I struggle to remember a more one sided game against Liverpool. In the first half in particular, United were all over them and an unfamiliar feeling struck my chest. It took some time but I eventually realised it was empathy. The Merseysider’s deterioration since they finsished 2nd two seasons ago has been dramatic. Although they were still able to score two here, it had far more to do with our failings than the renaissance of their season.

My goodness we needed this result. Much was made of the fact Rangers defended with eleven mid-week, but we looked like a team still punch-drunk from Goodison the previous weekend. A result was necessary against Liverpool and the outcome could not have been sweeter.

As mentioned above, our first half performance was imperious, whilst in the second period things were a little patchy. The cynic in me thinks that this could well be the story of our season. With Giggs and Scholes still required to put the requisite class into our play, any match in its final 20 minutes this campaign will seem a form of purgatory.

Still, that’s still better than the hell of watching your best players flounder, which is how Liverpool fans must feel at the moment. Torres was a little crafty in winning the penalty and free-kick but he was fouled fair and square on both occasions. John O’Shea, I thought, should have been sent off.

That is not to say that referee Howard Webb was being United-biased, quite the opposite I thought. United’s dominance was broken at times only by needless free-kick disrupting out rhythmn.

Yet despite all this we still looked capable of ballsing it all up at the end. The defence, quite simply, is vulnerable at the moment. Rio can no longer be relied upon as an ever-present, and although Vidic is a terrific choice as captain he still needs a player is more positioning than elbowing stood next to him. Evans is coming along but is still good for about two mindless lunges per game at the moment.

In times of pressure though, you need a man to step up and do the right thing. Somebody who can handle their head in a crisis. This weekend that man was somebody who had taken criticism and stick for two years, somebody who had been in ignored as a joke. That man was my Dad.

Me and my Dad at the match (c) George Lucas
He has been harping on for two seasons about Berbatov being a terrific player and the need for patience. The reason my old man deserves credit is for not saying the dreaded words “I told you so”. My hero.

Dimitar did alright for himself too.

Amid all of the hyperbole, there are several men with a point to prove this Sunday at Old Trafford. We look at the competitors whose work so far this season has not been up to scratch.

Wayne Rooney

Mr Rooney has filled more column inches than the Iraq war in recent weeks and will be champing at the bit to make headlines for the right reasons. Sir Alex Ferguson’s decision to omit him from the Everton match was a strange one and suggests that the young striker’s temperament may still be suspect. He could bring Liverpool’s defence to its knees, he could just as easily be sent off for something unnecessary.

Fernando Torres

‘Diabolical, just diabolical’, those were the words used to describe Torres by former Liverpool midfielder and Tv pundit Jamie Redknapp this week. A man widely regarded as the world’s most lethal striker 18 months ago has had a miserable run with injuries and played like my nan during the World Cup. He looks an extremely unhappy figure at Anfield right now but maybe a reunion with Nemanja Vidic will stir him up again. His attitude is seriously in question.

Roy Hodgson

In the same way that Buddhism is the nice guy on the religious shelf, Roy Hodgson is seen as the nice chap amongst the grim gallery of Premier League managers. He is not, however, a proven bloodthirsty winner. The jury remains firmly out on his appointment at Anfield and after Liverpool were dismantled by Manchester City the fans will be desperate for a result to cheer.

Woy. Nice bloke. Dodgy hair.(C) Getty

Dimitar Berbatov

Four games into the season and Berbatov is finally looking like the awe-inspiring £30million player he is supposed to be. He is still yet to turn it on in a big game and this is his chance. It is unlikely the Bulgarian will ever be spotted tracking back but if he can score a goal or two in this fixture he will go a long way to improving his standing with the fans.

Rio Ferdinand

Rio has been in and out of the team for the last 16 months and the questions over his fitness are fast becoming resigned shrugs of shoulders. After United’s late, late no-shows against Fulham and Everton he will be expected to marshal the defence better that it has been in his absence. No longer a spring chicken, but surely keen to prove he isn’t past-it yet either.

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Goodison is not an easy ground for anyone to visit. You have to earn the right to play there and Everton were all over us in the opening exchanges. Nice as it was to defeat Newcastle and West Ham, this was always going to be an entirely different test.

It is with great pride that I say I was completely wrong when I predicted Nani and Berbatov would return to their familiar inconsistent form. Indeed, for the first sixty minutes the match largely belonged to the young Michael Jackson lookalike. He whipped in several Beckham-esque crosses and had a huge hand in the first two goals. His only adversary for man of the match at that point was Tim Howard, whose saves had kept Everton in it.

But still in it they were, and even when Berbatov produced a nonchalant finish of exquisite skill they still didn’t give up. I am inclined to give Everton huge credit for their comeback. They worked hard and they deserved it. However, as Manchester United correspondent it would be remiss of me if I did not focus on our team’s performance.

We definitely blew it, and not for the first time this season we have dropped points for not being ruthless enough. It would be easy to take out the pointy finger of blame and direct it at Gary Neville and Patrice Evra for shoddy defending at the death. But quite frankly, if you are two goals up with 90 seconds to go, the entire team should know to close down the opposition and play out the game.

We didn’t do that and my suspicion is a lack of leadership is to blame. Gary Neville won’t like me saying this, but I think Rio marshals the back five better and his return cannot come soon enough for me.

Much of the talk at kick off was about ‘you know who’. It seemsdictionary.com did my work for me on Saturday and their word of the day was as follows (please pay careful attention to the pronunciation):

Rue [roo] verb, rued, ru·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to feel sorrow over; repent of; regret bitterly: to rue the loss of opportunities.
2. to wish that (something) had never been done, taken place, etc.: I rue the day he was born.

Another rumour from the terrace is that this whole affair has destroyed Rooney’s hopes for claiming the captaincy in a couple of year’s time. That is a worry for another day, what concerns me now is that if we don’t start winning winnable matches – the league will be over by Christmas.

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So, surprise surprise, Wayne Rooney can add his name to the list of men that have cheated on their wives. I have absolutely no doubt that this is none of my business. Yet this story is being waved in my face as if it is conclusive proof of this existence of God. In no way can I condone the actions of Mr. Rooney etc., but this really is not of grand importance in terms of what happens at our football club. What is crucial to Manchester United isn’t it the papers this week. Jesus wept.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Wayne Rooney!
Wife Cheat!
Whisper, whisper, keep it quiet.
News of the World – Blight on society.

We live in a deeply flawed world if the newspaper responsible for the illegal phone-tapping of members of parliament and the royal family is allowed to blackmail the country’s best footballer in the year of a World Cup.

We’ll have a look at some facts about the Rooney story that are being skirted over. Firstly, whilst the alleged affair was taking place he was playing like a demon for the team. He has been in a dip of form for 6 months now, including an atrocious World Cup, and that period of time dovetails precisely with the period the News of the World were threatening to publish the story.

That’s right kids, the newspaper which is now subject to a parliamentary inquiry about phone taps was threatening the national side’s best player in World Cup year. Once again, I cannot defend the actions of Mr. Rooney. However, I suspect that if your marriage was under threat from hysterical national scrutiny through the media, you had just had your first young child and the nation had pinned his hopes upon your shoulders – you could be forgiven for having a tough day at the office.

Prior to the 2006 World Cup Sven Goran Eriksson was tricked and filmed into giving some fairly honest opinions on his squad by an English newspaper. Want to guess which one it was? Eriksson was booted firmly and politely out of the door.

It has emerged quietly this week that Murdoch newspapers have a worrying level of influence over Her Majesty’s Metropolitan Police. It has been reported that a Home Office inquiry into the police’s investigation would have ‘offended the Met’.
What? The Police would have been upset if the country’s newspapers were open to honest investigation of illegal activity?

The UK’s most wanted Criminals
That doesn’t sound right to me at all. Instead, the whole world is lining up to condemn Rooney, Terry et al for being terrible human beings. With no disrespect to the readers of this column I highly doubt any of you are free from sin. The difference is that our lives our not splashed across the newspapers adding to the totals of emotional misery in this imperfect world.

Who is being brought to account here? Andy Coulson’s career is in severe jeopardy, and he will soon join the annals of well-known scapegoats. Fabio Capello, a man with an impeccable management record is now being portrayed as a clown and Rooney a lecherous working-class beast. Rupert Murdoch reclines somewhere on a chaise-lounge and sips another cognac.

Meanwhile in Manchester, millions of pounds of fan’s money is being used to subsidise the debts of American businessmen. Meanwhile in Africa, people are starving to death by the minute.
Wayne Rooney! Wife Cheat!
Do me a bloody favour.

Photography courtesy of meg nicol@FlickrCcoms

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