The Devil In Me

It’s nice to be back in the Premier League this weekend and back to the business at hand as opposed to all this business about a handball. FIFA’s influence on the week’s events has muddied their fair play policy in all the wrong ways, some games are fairer than others, eh Sepp? But FIFA’s true crime against the game came a few years ago when they endorsed the FIFA console game. Park football has never been the same since.

Every Sunday, in our weekly kickaround, nearly everyone on the pitch (yes, me included) tries to pull off the edge of the box side on volley into the top corner that is common place in the computer game. Without exception, each one of these shots turns into either an air kick, or flies forth to the heavens to get covered in snow before crashing back down to earth and leaving a 20 foot crater of its own making in the middle of the M6. This is no mean feat as our pitch is miles away from the M6.

Now Darren Fletcher has gone and done it in a real fixture. Now even more people will try it! Even more often! Ye Gods, I am ready to give up. Still, after all this talk about equine afterbirth Fergie’s lovechild has done well.

Much has been made about Everton’s injury problems but my goodness they are a team that works hard. There must have at least sixty passes in the first minute of this game and it reminds you of how fit top flight players need to be. That is, of course, if your name is not Michael Owen.

Dammit. I have been trying to get behind Owen, his positioning is still first class but I fear his legs are truly gone. Mind you, for a cost of zero pence you’d still take a last minute winner in the derby I guess. We’ll probably buy in January.

Another team that will be buying in January are City. Most likely buying out the contract of their new manager after they shaft Hughsie. I am fighting back tears trying to come to terms with the result from Anfield that does neither side any good. There is a strong argument to say that if fourth place were awarded on merit it would go to Aston Villa right now. Unfortunately it isn’t, so anything could still happen. Go Sunderland.

At the top Chelsea are still looking good but I am cheered to hear that they are rearranging their back room staff mid-season again. It ain’t broke so of course it must be fixed. Welcome back Mr. Hiddink ,we do indeed need another cook in this kitchen, that always works. Next week they have Arsenal and we take on the mighty Portsmouth. Points should be made up. Let’s hope so.

Will Hargreaves play for United again? This is the question that keeps me awake at night. Your thoughts gentleman….

There have been a lot of grumbles about Real Madrid from our side over the last couple of years. The protracted Ronaldo transfer and the manner in which it was conducted has put an awful lot of people’s backs up. Madrid are now seen as lacking class and respect to the red side from Mancunia.

But short memories breed poor conclusions. After the devastation of Munich – United, naturally, did not qualify for Europe for several seasons. In the previous years they had been going toe-to-toe with a Madrid team that was arguably the greatest in club football history. And they were getting closer. A mutual respect had formed between the two and this reflects in the actions of the Spaniards after the plane crash had decimated our side.

Real Madrid played friendly fixtures against United for the five years following the Munich air disaster, and they always, always sent a full strength side. This was pure class on their part and helped Busby keep in touch with European football. As United gradually began to find their feet again they were able to test themselves against the likes of Di Stefano and Puskus on an annual basis. These fixtures are largely forgotten, but we now have the chance to pick through them in more detail.

Manchester United: The Forgotten Fixtures is an excellent companion for anybody with an interest in United history or football in general. It comprehensively covers every friendly game Machester United have played from the 1940s to the present day profiling team sheets, scorers and attendances for non-competitive games. It is a fascinating read, particularly if you are interested to see how the club were shaping up in pre-season before their most memorable campaigns.

The book has been compiled by the steady hand of Iain McCartney, a seasoned football writer and Reds specialist, who has an eye for detail and a readable style that readers should find compelling. It now sits proudly amongst the finest literature on the mighty Reds.

So next time somebody starts whinging about how Madrid are a classless bunch of renegades, try to keep in mind that when it mattered, they were there for us. Thanks to Iain McCartney, we can all now remember.

Manchester United: The Forgotten Fixtures by Iain McCartney with a Foreward by Paddy Crerand is available from Amazon and all good book shops.

Ayers Rock, Mount Everest, Greenland, Sam Allardyce. Blackburn’s manager is not a small fella. I am reliably informed that in order to stay upright he is required to use one of those anti-gravity belts beloved of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen in Dune. But enough about this Jupiter of a man (Big Sam has my total respect by the way, this is the guy who made Bolton a force). United are famous for big things too. We have had Big Ron, Big Norm, big crowds of course and are The Biggest Football Club in the WorldTM. What we have not had yet this season is a big performance. We need one.

Sam Allardyce

Baron Vladimir Harkonnen
I remember a few years ago when United and Arsenal slugged it out for championships like Borg and McEnroe and we, quite unexpectedly, tonked them 6-1. It was widely assumed that because they were the top two teams in the country that it’d be, you know, quite an even game.

The truth was, United were miles ahead and Arsenal were ‘rebuilding’, as they say in football parlance. Why does this result come back into my mind now? Yep, you guessed it, we’re going to Stamford Bridge next week and Chelsea look like they could win the Grand National at the moment.

United have got serious talent in the side, Berbatov’s goal lifted the soul on Saturday, but I have a horrible feeling we are about to get found out. Whisper it quietly, but United have leaned on an awful lot of luck so far. Beating Arsenal and City, although not outrageously jammy, might have maxed out our cosmic credit card of good fortune.

Why is this so? Because nobody has the slightest idea what is our best midfield. Our central defensive partnership has signed on for another stint in the Casualty cast and, um, Nani.

It must be terrible for any winger starting at United. There is a statue of George outside the stadium and a training pitch full of defenders who are used to trying to tackle Giggs and Ronaldo. Unfortunately, for all of their obvious talent, the boys are not yet men.

I have no doubts about the ability of Messrs Valencia, Nani, Pogba and Tocsic but I have serious reservations about their readiness for a game at Stamford Bridge. One can only assume that Fergie will play Scholes Giggs and Carrick in the fixture. This, one suspects, does not fill the hearts and minds of Ballack, Essien and Lampard with a sense of dread.

Far be it from me to question the wisdom of Mr. Ferguson when it comes to matters of team selection but the side of caution has been leaned on. We need to not lose to Chelsea and it is time to step up. Whatever the midfield next week, I hope we see ‘swash’ and ‘buckle’ in there somewhere too. It is about time.

In other news, Fulham are my new second favourite Premier League team.