This has been a terrible week for my health. On Sunday I nearly had a heart attack and for the following two days I couldn’t draw breath. Since then I have been breaking out into uncontrollable fits of laughter. It is only this morning I realise the giggling must stop. We have troubles in defence guys.
Before we address the hoo-ha of added time it must be noted that we defended as well as Swan Lake cast members in the derby. I know matches of this nature have a life of their own but Rio and Foster did not play well in a pressure fixture. That is something that needs serious looking at.
Ferdinand has been imperious for so long now I feel compelled to forgive him but there may be more to it. He only started 25 league games last year and injuries seem to be popping up all over his body. There is a suspicion he hasn’t been fully fit for a while and is playing through the pain to get to the World Cup. I’d probably do the same (call me Fabio).
Their third goal was largely his fault, obviously, and there is a strong argument to suggest he should have been covering position for the first too. Wes has not been the Wes of old recently and there is the thought of Pallister’s slow demise to back injuries haunting my mind. Could this be the end of Rio? I hope not.
Foster gets less leeway. That is about the fourth time he has blundered so far this season. He is a great reactionary goalie but his decision making seems to shudder in big games. Fergie has all the patience of Mike Tyson without his meds when it comes to keepers and the odds on United adding a 13th nationality to men between the sticks since Schmeical left get shorter by the day. (Pint to anyone who can name the other 12).
On the huge, enormous plus side Evra, Giggs and Fletcher were magnificent and, of course, we won. Giggs was absolutely deadly all match long and, Given apart, was by far and away the best player on the pitch. Still no start for Carrick and the rumours of
a fall out between him and Fergie may possibly have some substance. It is perhaps possible, methinks, to fall out with Fergie.
Okay, time added on. Everybody has done the maths and realised that it was justified with the substitution and Bellamy’s disgraceful plane celebration. Then, those sages at the Guardian analyse United and print that we always get more injury time at home when we’re not winning. Did they analyse any other team’s stats? Nope, notta one. Thanks guys, that’s quality journalism that.

And then we have have ickle Mickey Owen. I don’t know about you but he has endeared himself in my books. Ice cool with the finish and his role in Wellbeck’s goal last night was crucial too. Just about justified his price tag now.
Next up, away to Stoke. Put your shinpads on guys, I’m off to get a medical check-up.
In other news, Fernando Torres has been requested to undertake a gender test to prove he is not a woman. Well, he’s got his knockers…

Follow mark on twitter @markjpayne and www.thedevilinme.co.uk
Photography from my mate Eileen.
HERES ACTUALLY 15
Bosnich
Barthez
Van der Sar
Tiabi
Van Der Gouw
Andy Gorman
Tim Howard
Roy Carroll
Ben Foster
Tomas Kuszczak
Ricardo
Luke Steele
Paul Rachubka
Rio Ferdinand against pompy in the cup
John O’Shea against spurs in the league
As for my pint, I don’t think you’d be able to send it all the way to Bangalore so I shall graciously decline.
Cheers.
Dear god, you forgot Valencia. Since he came on the city box was bombarded with crosses and great wing play.
Ronaldo who?