Archive for April, 2009

Aneurysm United 5 – 2 Spurs

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Manchester United’s capacity for drama is certainly not on the wane. There are times when I wonder if I follow football or merely suffer from it. This still wasn’t vintage stuff from United but five goals against a resurgent Spurs is very respectable. One question that is left in hanging in air though. What on earth has happened to Howard Webb?

Not so long ago this guy was widely respected as the English game’s best referee. Mourinho would pillory for him in the big fixtures and that shiny pate had us all thinking he was our very own Pierluigi Collina. Not today. I try very hard not to criticise other people, and I think referees have an exceptionally difficult job, but that was as close to a penalty as Japan is to the Caribbean. Not very.
collina_pierluigi.jpg
Nonetheless, we had our scoring boots on from that point and the more I look at the goal difference column the more I think it could turn out to be crucial. We need ten points to secure this title and I highly doubt that Middlesbrough or Manchester City will be rooting for us to claim it.

There is still a lot of work to be done. The team has looked a little tired of late but we have been able to lean on different areas of the side at different times. For so long the defence held us together but now it is the attack. If we believe the papers, then next season our attack will also include some young scamp named Kaka. Where on earth would we play him? In goal?

The next three weeks see us playing two games a week again. It seems as though we have been doing that all season. We are not there yet but I hope we can hold on. Should the drama levels stay this high then by the end of May I could be sporting the same hairstyle as Mr. Webb.

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I’ve got a bad feeling about this

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Okay. So we are not trapped in the marshy trash compactor of a Starship Destroyer wearing uncomfortable Stormtrooper outfits with a strange beasty lurking beneath but, beware we should. I am not at all sure our record at New Wembley ((C) Tony Blair) is anything to feel confident about.

We have played four matches so far at the boo palace and on not one occassion have we scored more than a single goal. The two Charity Shields we have played there may as well have been telethons they were so long. Both matches went to penalties and our outrageous fortune with the dead ball continued.

This year’s Carling Cup Final and the sequence repeated itself. Most of our attacks in that game resembled an old woman trying to stab a brick wall with a plastic takeaway fork. Not particularly incisive.

Prior to those glorious occasions we were mugged by Didier Drogba in the final throes of injury time when Chelsea were still under the control of Darth Mourinho. To put it mildly, our form on this ground ain’t too good.
mourinho.jpg
There may be reasons for this. I am told that the pitch is made from a special turf that can be rolled up for rock concerts and has less traction than normal pitches. This could explain why our zippy passing game has yet to grace the hallowed turf. It also gives us the opportunity to blame James Blunt if we lose.

I don’t see the pitch being wider as a great problem. We have more wingmen than Maverick in Top Gun and should be able to exploit that extra space handsomely. So what is it then? I suggest it may simply be because the ground is in London. Our record there is nowhere near as good as it is in say, Birmingham, or even Liverpool.

Basically, nothing will surpirse me today. If the game was being played at any other ground in the country I would predict 2-1 either way. Now, I am not so sure. Everton have several players who are happy to put their boot in (to share a dressing room with Duncan Ferguson has its effects) and in Cahill they have a guy who can win football matches. As always, I live in hope, but, I have a baaad feeling about this.

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Porto 0 – 1 United

Thursday, April 16th, 2009

Opponents are a little bit like carpets. If you (p)lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. Porto must still be reeling from that 4-0 tonking we gave them in ‘97 because they were in a very strong position going into this match. Despite United being wobblier than that rope bridge from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom in recent weeks. Porto still couldn’t dominate. United controlled this match and for once, we have a performance as satisfying as the result. We also have a clean sheet for a change. Geronimo.

temple2.bmp

It makes a refreshing change to sit at the keyboard with a few positives to dwell on rather than attempting to hide the dread I have genuinely felt over the last few weeks. I do not know if we are or out of the woods yet, but the team’s display certainly calms the nerves a little.

I am extremely pleased to see Anderson back. I was beginning to wonder what had happened to the little dynamo who bossed the game at Arsenal in November 2007. Perhaps he did not own the pitch in Oporto but he made his presence felt. Those are exactly the kind of fresh legs we will be needing in the run in. This was a good match for him as he understands what makes all of those South American opponents of him tick and he did break up a lot of their attacks.

Then of course, we have Mr. Ronaldo to mention. He really seems to turn it on when we have Portugese opposition. That goal was advanced example of what quality footballers can do. Bobby Charlton would have blushed.

The thing that makes me happiest right now is Porto’s inability to even get near our goal. This means two things. The defence played well (welcome back Rio) and the midfield played well. VDS does still look a little permeable at times but the guys in front of him have started to do their jobs again.

Enjoy this moment of calm, it surely won’t last. United always, always make us suffer and there will be heart attacks again before the end of the season. Mark my words. For once though, we have had a better week than Liverpool. And that’ll do nicely.

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Titter

Monday, April 13th, 2009

This comes from Soccernet’s Insider column:

RUMOUR HAS IT: Michael Essien was dropped by Guus Hiddink for this game after turning up for training 13 stone overweight yesterday. On closer inspection, it was found that he still had Steven Gerrard in his pocket from Wednesday evening. (A poor joke from a loyal Chelsea fan. Sorry)

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Sunderland 1 – 2 Macheda United

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

Fingernails are overrated anyway. This was terrifying stuff for most of the afternoon. Both of our nearest rivals had managed to score four and even as we reorganised ourselves into a 1-1-8 formation we seemed unlikely to get a winner. Again. There are times when I allow myself to slip  into a “it’s one of those days” mindset. I should not play these tricks on myself when it comes to United.

Make no mistake, this was an extremely jittery 90 minutes, at times it was like watching the Shining, so tense was it. Our opponents can smell blood at the moment and Sunderland, who have been playing like a cabbage patch of late, tried their hand and went for us. If they continue to play like that then they will not go down. 

It would be easy to focus on the players who aren’t delivering at the moment (I know none of you have enrolled at the local college for Bulgarian classes for example) but I have decided to get behind the team so I shall focus on the positives. (What? Head in sand? Me? No?). We have Wayne Rooney.

He is still only 23 Wayne, and although he hasn’t yet developed a way to control his inner serial killer he is turning into the man of the team. In terms of effort, skill, fortitude and sheer passion for the cause he is the season’s outstanding performer. Whilst those in Fleet Street are waiting desperately for their “United have shot their bolt”, “United have confidence issues through the team” predictions to come true, Rooney is the man holding back the tide. He started uncomplainingly on the left here in Sunderland and was by far our most effective player for most of the match. If the team is wobbling collectively, Rooney at least is standing up to be counted.

Another important count we have to do involves Mr. Macheda. Two goals in two games, 46 seconds and counting tick tick tock, first touch. I don’t care who you are, those are good numbers. How could he possibly ever live up to last week? I thought. The best answer, of course, was to do exactly the same thing again. I don’t think he had been on the pitch for 60 seconds before he scored and that means something very important now surrounds this guy. Hope. In the past if things weren’t going our way and we saw Solskjaer warming up we all knew we had a chance of winning. The sight of his number flashing on the substitution board had the effect of galvanising the team late in games. This, I believe, is largely why we won so many matches at the death whilst he was playing. A week ain’t much in terms of human history but when I see Federico step onto the field, from here on in, I will believe we can do it.

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United 2 – 2 Porto

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Reports of Manchester United’s demise have been exaggerated. The Los Angeles Earthquake was a disaster. The eruption of Mount St. Helen’s was a disaster. Every single one of Glenn Hoddle’s haircuts in the eighties was a disaster. Drawing 2-2 with Porto is an understandable result and a retrievable situation. On the other hand, Hoddle’s barbour will never work again.

Firstly, Porto were magnificent. They attacked the game from the start, moved the ball around slickly and chased our players into the dust. Fernando and Gonzalez linked up superbly and would have given Brazil circa 1970 a hard time on last night’s form. Not to mention that in Hulk they boast the best named player since Congolese striker Bongo Christ. Yep, United were up against it.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2007/apr/11/theknowledge.sport

By my calculations the last time United put in a truly worthy performance, one that makes the blood boil with excitement and your voice hoarse, was against Chelsea several months ago. We are still top of the league, remain in every competition and have even won a trpohy since then. So does this mean that we have been the luckiest side in history and are currently being found out? The simple answer is no. The players we have are quality and have shown their worth, I should imagine that it is not easy to give an Oscar winning performance every match. Especially not when you are playing so much. No other team even has the pressure of entertaining so impatiently placed upon them, only United.

Ferguson, as was widely reported after the Fulham loss, took a gamble on the Villa fixture. It could have been moved but he kept it on Sunday to give our players an extra day to recover, therefore jeopardising premium fitness against Porto. We were, admittedly, 9 parts outrageously lucky and 1 part inspired against Martin O’Neill’s men, but we got the result.

As soon as I settled into my seat for the European game I knew the players would tire towards the end. Two high pressure matches inside 52 hours is a helluva lot to ask of anybody. To concede a late goal was not entirely unexpected considering these circumstances. It just seems such a shame now because we were so close.

On th-glass-is-half-full side of things, we have played those two matches now and a vital victory in the league was obtained along with a workable result against a team who have played their best game in Europe this season. We lost neither.

Granted, at times last night we seemed to be 11 individuals, rather than a team, and there were points when I wondered if Porto’s midfield were the only ones to get off the bus. We have largely been carried this season by the unspeakably good form of the defence. That bubble has now popped (step forward Johnny Evans) and it is time for the attackers to stand up and be counted. Rooney is scoring goals, Tevez proved once again his remarkable penchant for scoring at important times and this lad Macheda should have Berbatov thinking very hard about his work rate too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioBtJpAAxac&feature=related

Next up we have a four day rest (crikey me!) followed by a freefalling Sunderland side. Then, a four day rest (Dear Lord!) followed by a winner takes all tussle in Porto. There are no guarantees in this life but I am hoping (I always do) that there is life the Red Devils yet. Let’s get behind the team.

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United 3 – 2 Aston Villa

Monday, April 6th, 2009

If you could bottle Manchester United you would have a serious concoction on your hands. It would be the kind of potion to rewrite prohibition laws, alcohol legislation worldwide would undergo serious scrutiny and support groups would pop-up like shoots in the spring time. 

My name is Mark and I am a Manchester United-aholic. It all started off so simply. Just a few hours every saturday, but before I knew it it I needed more and more. I could be caught sneaking around in the middle of the night to watch highlights reels or leaf through a Pannini sticker album that was cherished above my health. Before I knew it I was logging on before work on a monday morning just to get my United fix. Results like this one are the reason why.

A thousand scriptwriters working for a thousand years could not have written better dialogue for Federico Machedo.  He had the good grace not to fluff his lines. The poor lad will be crushed with comparisons to heroes of yesteryear from here on in but the confidence with which he took that goal (and from now on it shall be known as ‘THAT GOAL”) was utterly astonishing. The swagger of it, the quality, from one so young is what this club is all about. Norman Whiteside-esque in touch (yep, I’m guilty of the comparison stuff too) and he looks to be far stronger than your average teenage whippet as well. The man has a future.

The rest of the match was the kind to keep heart surgeons in business. Villa are a fine side and alas poor Gary was made to look every inch of his 82 years by Little John in the middle for the Villans and some rapier wing work on their left hand side.

But no matter. We have been due a loss against Villa since Nixon was in office and every time this fixture comes up I dread it knowing that the party must end some time. Thankfully not today, and we can swig from the cup of United now with slightly less trepidation than  in the last fortnight. Next up, a round with Porto in Europe. Ye Gods. What will United serve up next?

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