Hi Guys,
This is from the Guardian but I am sure you will all appreciate it. Let me know if you can add any to the list.
Cheers
Mark
The Joy of Six: great football headlines
From sunken Armadas to a ballistic Super Caley, we look at the moment-defining headlines that have become stories in themselves
1) THESE ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS (O Mundo)
Few headlines have been so dismally  but so spectacularly  incorrect as this. On the morning of July 16 1950, the early edition of Rio de Janeiro newspaper O Mundo carried a snap of Moacyr Barbosa, Augusto da Costa, Juvenal Amarijo, Jose Carlos Bauer, Danilo Alvim, Joao “Bigode” Ferreira, Albino Friaca, Thomaz “Zizinho” Soares, Ademir Menezes, Jair da Rosa Pinto and Francisco “Chico” Aramburu. And, alongside that photo of the Brazilian side due to face Uruguay in the final of the 1950 World Cup, ran the fateful legend: THESE ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS.
O dear O Mundo. In fairness, they weren’t the only ones to put the cart before the horse: the mayor of Rio had made a skitteringly useless attempt at a rousing Churchillian address on the turf before the match, hailing the Brazilian players as having “no rivals in the entire hemisphere” and claiming that “in less than a few hours” they would be “hailed as champions by millions of compatriots”. But soundwaves dissipate into the ether  the printed word doesn’t. “In less than a few hours”, Alcide Ghiggia would beat Barbosa at his near post; half of the apocryphal suicides that would later occur that fateful day in Rio probably happened on the O Mundo back bench, as the later editions of the paper had to be entirely reworked.
2) A NEW CONCEPTION OF FOOTBALL (The Times)
Has there ever been a more sweeping  yet accurate  statement than this? England had just been ripped a new aperture in their voluminous shorts by Ferenc Puskas and his Olympic champions, and here the Times reflected the addled confusion of a country unaccustomed to being beaten 6-3 at home by “the foreign invader”. The paper claimed that “within the framework of British football [England] were acceptable … they could probably win against Scotland at Hampden Park next April”. But this was grasping desperately at straws. Geoffrey Green’s account of Hungary’s third goal, which reported Puskas pulling the ball back and sending Wright skidding off the pitch “like a fire engine heading to the wrong fire”, is rightly remembered as the definitive snapshot of the match, but the description of Puskas’s soft-shoe shuffle found under this particular headline  “sheer jugglery”  wasn’t too shabby either.
“They shot with the accuracy and speed of archers,” the report added. “It was Agincourt in reverse.” The military metaphor spoke volumes; this was a nation watching in stunned horror as the last vestiges of its empire crumbled to dust. But despite it all, this headline still had the grace to be magnanimous – and celebratory.
3) SEAMAN SINKS ARMADA (The Observer)
Ah yes, the military metaphor. Lack of Empire has had a strange effect on the sports desks of this country, who can’t stop banging on about the time we used to regularly dust Johnny Foreigner round his jowls with a pair of leather gloves, before throwing said gloves to the dusty ground, challenging him to a duel, and inserting into his person a length of cold steel. It’s an attitude that puts the Great into Britain.
Actually, no it doesn’t, it’s kind of pathetic, really. This one  reporting England’s spawny win over Spain at Euro 96  harks back to something that happened in 1588, for goodness sake. Having said that, though, it’s the exception that proves the rule, containing as it does a semblance of wit and a hoary old pun, two essential ingredients of any great modern headline. Lovely work, and anyway a war riff was pretty much unavoidable, seeing as Barry Davies had been on the telly before the match banging on about Terry Venables popping down to Plymouth Hoe for a spot of carpet bowls.
Sadly, this particular victory set up a meeting in the semi-final with Germany, the prospect of which led Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan to attempt a spot of satire a mere 24 hours later: ACHTUNG! SURRENDER! “For you, Fritz, ze Euro 96 Championship is over!” Empire was not the only thing lacking here, was it Piers?
4) OH, ENGLAND, WHAT A START! RUN, RUN, RUN! THIS IS NOT ENOUGH! (Sunday Express)
Subeditors are often at their best when sticking the boot into a misfiring England side, as bons mots such as IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, GO or SWEDES 2, TURNIPS 1 testify. But this  part of an elongated whine after England’s opening 0-0 draw with Uruguay at the 1966 World Cup  beats them all for sheer desperate panic. Will you calm down for Christ’s sake!
5) SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC, CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS (The Sun)
“John Barnes moved closer to the axe after Celtic suffered their biggest humiliation in their 112-year history.” As first lines go, the Sun’s report of Inverness Caledonian Thistle’s 3-1 win in the Scottish Cup at Parkhead in 2000 is powerful enough (even if it does ignore the 5-1 shellacking Celtic suffered at the hands of Neuchatel Xamax in 1991). But of course it is the lovely picture of Paul Sheerin jigging around that everybody rememb … oh alright, it’s the headline: SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC, CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS.
So pleased were the Sun with themselves that they wheeled their Julie Andrews-based zinger out again last year when Don Cowie scored the winner for Caley against Gordon Strachan’s side in the SPL (Thistle having turned a two-goal deficit into a 3-2 win): SUPER COWIE GOES BALLISTIC, CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS.
In truth, though, the gag could most charitably be described as a homage, given that the Liverpool Echo had beaten the Sun to the pun(ch) by nearly three decades, reporting a 1970s Ian Callaghan masterclass against Queens Park Rangers thus: SUPER CALLY GOES BALLISTIC, QPR ATROCIOUS.
6) ROONEY MARK TWO MAY INVOKE IRISH GRANNY RULE (Irish Independent)
Anyway, that’s your lot, ladies and gentlemen, we’re sure you’ll agree the entertainment has been near the knuckle but not halfway up the arm, if you’re taking the car home please do drive safely, you’ve been a lovely audience, we’ll be here all week, try the scampi.